Mara Cavanaugh @mara_cav_@writing.exchange

If anyone is ever feeling suicidal please dm me. I'm not a certified anything, but I've been close to suicide.

I am always here to be a nonjudgmental listening ear. I may not be able to respond right away because I have a job and other adult obligations, but I will always respond eventually.

I can't convince you to live. I can try, but ultimately that's on you.

What I can do is be your moral support cheerleader here on the Fediverse.

So I'm here.

And you will never bother me.

Note: If I make grammatical mistakes in my toots, I'm just mentally stimulated at the time. If I delete and retoot it's likely because of cringe grammar.

Currently working on nixing that with some grammar workbooks.

Truthfully I don't know what the hell I'm doing, but I feel a pulse so I'm gonna go after it.

I found a video that brings up why it's important to converse with the intent to learn. It's a white person talking so hopefully it won't alienate her too much. I'm a bit scared to send it to her because I do enjoy her company. But the rational part of me knows that if she takes offense then... I guess we're not friends anymore.

One of my co-workers is really taking the current social climate and making herself a victim out of it. For the most part, I've been taking everything that's going on and reflecting on my blackness internally. But the way my co-worker talks about how she can't talk, and how if she does talk she'll be called racist because she's white and doesn't want to be called that because she's not — that really irks me.

I am learning all sorts of racist shit about people in my life that I never wanted to know.

I thought they knew I was black. I don't know if I didn't tell them or they're just conveniently ignoring that fact.

🙃

It's funny sometimes how much you think you want what you want.

https://write.as/mara-cav/death

My online friends convinced me to watch Avatar years ago. I appreciated it then, because it gave us something to talk about and the universe was really cool.

I never finished it though, I think school took over. I got to midway of season two.

I'm glad I'm coming back to it now as an adult, I'm noticing so much more and I can appreciate it so much more.

Avatar is amazing.

I have a hard time stomaching animal cruelty normally, but holy shit this arc was heartbreakingly painful.

I fucking bawled so hard those few episodes my partner hard to calm me down.

I like Appa, but I did not expect to go the wailing ugly cry route. Guess I was attached to him more than I thought.

Now Appa and Aang are reunited 💕 All is well.

Now they can deal with those Earth Kingdom fuckers as a team ✊

I've been tweaking this long reflection for weeks. I feel weird that I've put so much time and energy into something that's only gonna be on my personal blog, but I don't feel like I'm avoiding anything through this. So that's a positive.

Think I'm gonna make a separate Write.as for my non-journal writings. Just so they'll be separated from my poetry + universes.

500+ words done for the day.

I've got my cute lil' notebook and my fountain pens ready to jot down ideas before I turn in. And my kitties resting by my feet.

This is a nice way to end the day.

Though I am slightly pressed I didn't get to hear all of Dancing Mad the first time because I overleveled tf out of my party 😔