Smiling as I pass someone drains me. The confusing part, to me, is I am a very happy and optimistic person who loves people and judges people positively 90% of the time first before entertaining negative judgements (and those judgements are under automatic scrutiny). So why is smiling so draining?
My best guess is because I'm an introvert. The only smile I can do is a true smile--I'm incapable of a fake one. To offer such a true emotion to anyone and everyone takes so much energy.
✒️On Smiling cont.
It's akin to some taxing physical labor just to hand them a gift they won't realize the weight of, because societally I'm expected to. I'm a woman. I have to smile. I'm in an extroverted world, I have to smile. The consequences of not smiling have affected me at work and can see it. People I really like don't bother saying hi because they assume I don't really want that connection based on the fact that I don't offer a smile in the hallway. Just another way life weighs on me. 🤔