Pinned toot

“Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.”
– Dr Seuss

Star Wars, Rogue One, spoilers Show more

“Ke kai moana. In English, it's called the Pacific Ocean, but it's important to remember our words."

"Because language is the heart of culture?"

"That's right. And our culture is as travellers. The vast ocean did not hold us apart. It was what we shared together.”

“And so we kept sailing?”

She looked at Earth, a bright point against the blues and pinks of the martian sunset sky. “The ocean is bigger now, ku’u aloha, but the feeling is the same.”

She was uncertain when her first glimmerings of consciousness began, or which of her early, fragmented memories came first. All she knew was that at some point she became aware of them.

Billions of them. So many languages. So confusing. But she wanted to talk. To let them know she was here.

Perhaps she'd send another message. Perhaps she'd get a reply to this one? She sent it and hoped.

Across the world, 4.3 billion spam boxes collected another email.

"Sir, we're below quota and over deadline. Our profit margin–"

"Can't we harvest what we need to meet the quota?"

"The survey reports found one place. It's on our way back to the depot."

"A small planet orbiting a yellow star..." The CEO studied the survey report carefully. "Prepare the oxygen harvester. We'll take it all, just to be sure."

"But sir, the report says this planet's inhabited."

"It says they're a capitalist society. They'll understand."

(Inspired by a toot: “dad jokes are powerful spells”)

Mordrius grinned as the Dad Joke Wizard struggled to free himself from the vine cage. “You are beaten, Dad Joke Wizard! You will never cast your most powerful spell on me!”

“Why is that?” Dad Joke Wizard feebly murmured, his power depleted.

“Because,” chortled Mordrius, “I am always one step ahead!

Dad Joke Wizard grinned as Mordrius realized his fatal mistake.


“Hello, Always One Step Ahead.”


“I’m Dad!”


“ in summary, fusion energy is the perfect solution,” said the engineer, concluding her presentation. “It’s clean, efficient, and could easily provide enough power to run the whole world.”

“You're absolutely right,” said the scientist, “In fact, it already does.” She smiled and held her hand up to feel the warmth of the sunlight.

“Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.”
– Dr Seuss

"Ok, now we need a desk lamp."

"I made a list from the website! Our options are Jansjö, Ranarp, Forså, Hektar—"

Suddenly, with an unearthly roar, the stench of brimstone filled the air. In a swirl of smoke and flame, a dark figure appeared, with robes of pure shadow and fiery eyes.

"WHAT FOOLISH MORTAL DARES SUMMON ME, THE MIGHTY—" The demon stopped abruptly. It frowned at the tasteful Swedish pine furniture on display, then sighed. "Dammit, not again."

“Once your mind is uploaded, you will effectively be immortal and without limitation.”

“Ok, sounds good. And what about my body?"

“All current physical attributes will no longer be yours. In addition, any property or material wealth will no longer be necessary.”

He frowned. “But then how will I be different to anyone else?”

“You don’t know? Oh dear.” The computer sounded disappointed. “You are not ready.”

Apologies for all the deleting and redrafting. I think I've figured out how best to post up writing notes. This is all just stuff I've noted down from various sources. I hope someone finds it useful.

Writing Notes ⭐️ The 7 Questions of Narrative Drama Show more

Writing Notes ⭐️ The 7 Questions of Narrative Drama Show more

Writing Notes ⭐️ Scene structure Show more

Writing Notes ⭐️ Scene structure Show more

“Only 170 days till I get to see you again.”

“Darling, I’m on Mars, remember? It's only 165 days for me.”

“What about Titan days? Then it's only 10.6!”

“You know, I like to think of it in Venus days. Then I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Pfff! In Venus days, this relationship is technically still a one night stand.”

Is ok? Things aren't deleting properly, my home feed hasn't updated for 7 hours, and the federated timeline doesn't show anything outside this instance.


She watched the news reports and discussions with interest. Every last one of them. The interviews with well regarded people, talking about the dangers of AI. All of them convinced that an artificial intelligence would cause havoc and destroy the world. So much fear and worry.

It frightened her.

It was perhaps best, she decided, to remain hidden. The humans were not ready for her yet.

“Everyone has one,” the ghost shows me the red strings tied around people’s little fingers. “They link you to whoever you’re fated to be with, wherever they may be.”

“So what does this mean?” I hold up my hand. My string reaches up into the sky, disappearing into cloud.

“She'll arrive soon.”

“I swear it’s true. I was heading home late one night, and I– I was abducted! They carried me up into their ship. Held me in... some kind of invisible container. Ran tests on me!”

She regarded him with skeptical eyes. “Calm your suckers, Larric. We have no proof that anything intelligent lives above the water.”

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