Back

5. Therapies that are often effective for neurotypicals can backfire spectacularly if used with autists. To some extent it might even been worse for autists with above average intellects because the CBT can sound reasonable when analyzed intellectually, but our emotional cores are unable to employ the suggestions offered by CBT.

6. Many of us take rejection much harder and in a way that neurotypicals can not understand, can not grok. We will be dismissed as dramatic or lying. That only

the shame we will feel. That we are failing. That we are burdensome.

7. While many of us do not need the amount of social interaction and camaraderie that neurotypicals surround themselves with, very few of us are hermits to an extent of having no need for friendship. But many of us end up in lonely lives and having little reassurance that we are valued enough that people will think to invite us to be with them.

One little addendum note is that the effects of guanfacine may finally be helping me have comfort to say I feel angry about this. I feel angry at how oblivious and insistent neurotypicals are in their thinking that if autists only followed neurotypical advice, we wouldn't be afflicted in the ways we are.

Neurotypicals, in general, have very little real empathy and compassion towards autists and their lives. They are okay with us dying early and many of us dying because of suicide.

Be angry.

@IzabelaKaramia
I would like to say I disagree with all of this, except that I can't because you're right. When you come across the depth of awareness and understanding of #Autism from autistic's and compare it against the theories and understanding of the allistic's so called studying us there is no comparison. All I can say is that the disregard of allistics is not so much against autistics, but universally against anyone who is outside the box marked "this is normal". It's like any attempt to make them see beyond the walls of themselves is an attack on them and dwelt with accordingly. So, yes, anger is pretty much called for. Even if it seems at times to be the angry futility of ever getting them to see.

@Finch

I know there are others who can understand that someone like me has value, but of course I very much wish that neurotypicals could learn to value the lives of those of us who are neurodivergent, learn to value our lives much more beyond any sort of monetary cost benefit analysis

I feel that's where much of my anger is. Directed towards how many of them can't conceive advice which works for them may be harmful to others and their mindset all persons exist in competition

@IzabelaKaramia You express the source of your anger very clearly; I wholeheartedly agree with you.

I just wanted to check that you feel valued by people here on Mastodon because you are. I see from your Toots everyday that you've got things tough at the moment, and I want you to know that you've got people on your side.

@Finch

thank you

I'm okay enough for now, though need to be careful about pacing myself and how much challenge I take on

which can make the numbers and thinking about what those numbers mean seem very very frightening

The world needs to improve, but most especially neurotypicals need to improve, because if they don't, it might not matter much what anyone says. Neurotypicals need to rectify the toxic environments they create

@IzabelaKaramia I wouldn't hold my breath - what incentive do NTs have to change?

@Finch

That's the huge problem, isn't it? Because if we look at recent history and examples, it strikes me that the pandemic shows how much neurotypicals are locked in to needing, I don't know, reassurance that they don't need to change anything about the lives they've known.

They are willing to let the vulnerable die when all they needed to do was be willing to mask up in public spaces and get themselves vaccinated and respect other mitigation measures.

@IzabelaKaramia I don't think anyone, NT or ND, likes change of the sort that a sane approach to the pandemic requires, but most NT people do seem unable to accept reality and so have opted to live in the "it's all over" fairyland instead.

Rather than wasting too much time trying to persuade NTs to change, I think our energies would be better spent psychologically supporting each other and building up our self-esteem and internal resilience (by which I mean genuine resilience stemming from a conviction of one's self-worth rather than being able to put up with all the shit NTs throw at us).